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Sunday, January 12, 2020

When the Past Changes in the Future

When I was in elementary school (and some middle school), my entire summer vacations were spent at my grandparents' home. They lived a few hours from us on an 80 acre farm. The house was the nicest one in the majority of the township....2 story, 4 bedrooms, huge picture window in the front...2 bathrooms. For its 1970 build, it was pretty extravagant. I would be there the weekend school got out until 2 weeks before school started.

I would spend a lot of time following my grandpa around. He was a carpenter by day and farmer by night and weekends. In fact, he built the house and all outbuildings (with the exception of the old barn). I rode the haywagon when they were baling hay. I went shopping with my grandma many days, too. Sometimes we'd go to the House of Flavors (ice cream parlor) for lunch (that was a true favorite) or we'd go to a local (state) chain which focused on mostly homemade food. When I was in 4th grade, she took me to a REAL jewelry store to get my ears pierced. Of course, that was before places like Claire's, etc existed. Every Sunday, we'd take a drive somewhere. It didn't matter where. Sometimes we'd drive a half hour or so to a neighboring small town. No matter where we went, my grandpa always made sure we stopped at the local ice cream joint (usually a soft serve place like Dairy Queen, but this was before Dairy Queen, I believe). I had amazing grandparents. I was super-spoiled, but at the same time, I was expected to help with dishes, vacuum, beds, and even mow. I wasn't worked to death..I just needed to help. Whenever my grandpa went to put gas in the car at night (so we'd have it the next day), I'd go and I'd come home with a few things of candy.

My grandfather died in 1990 when I was 18. My grandmother and my uncle (unmarried and farmed) stayed in the house. It went into some disrepair because my uncle wasn't handy and my grandma (probably) didn't want to spend the money. I don't really don't know the reasoning. It wasn't an eyesore and everything was still neat as a pin on the grounds. It was still the nicest one in the Township (it is kind of a redneck, backwoods area).

My grandmother died in 2011. My mother had control of the estate and she sold the house and land. This is a whole other story from hell, but it was sold to someone who lives a few miles from them and also farms. I haven't been back by it since 2012 when all the closing of the house went through, but thanks to Google Maps, I was able to go street-level and see the view I always saw from the road and even coming down the road to it. It was just over a hill....and it stood out like a sore thumb. The anticipation of of going to my grandma's was always immense.

To this day, the street-level view is the same. It says it is from 2009. I am so thankful for that (ten years later) because the satellite view isn't as pleasant. It just looks like it is really run down (not surprising with the type of person that bought it). I would be absolutely devastated to see it in shambles in person and from street level. My heart aches enough as it is seeing it from the satellite view. It looks like much of the barbed-wire/electric fencing has been taken down. The dirt road that went to the back has changed its path. It's so hard to see something that was always a constant (and a great one, at that) change...it's like erasing everything of my past and I REALLY don't like that. Yes, I always have that experience in my head and I will hold on fiercely to it, but seeing it changed...left to go into more disrepair....it's like spitting on a grave.

I miss my grandparents...still....and fiercely. I don't know if I will ever be brave enough to handle seeing that 80 acres for what it is today be it in person or via Google.